Album Review/Album Revision: The Great Rock N Roll Swindle/Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols

This may be the shittiest album to ever be released under such a awesome band. I mean, this really is the greatest swindle in rock n roll. Not only does this barely resemble the Sex Pistols(itself a crime) but this is just a terrible album. I mean, the fucking manager has not one but TWO songs with lead vocals, in addition to Ronnie Biggs(perhaps the only vocalist that sounds worse then the former) and each member of the Sex Pistols sings at least one song. But even that isn't the worst.

What may be the worst song EVER, a French singer covers Anarchy in the U.K. with a backing orchestra.

In French.

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....(obviously, a French singer would sing in French, DUH!!)

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Words cannot describe how terrible this album is. I mean, from weird arrangements of Sex Pistols songs, unfinished takes being used as actual songs, lack of good vocals from anyone, lack of original songs, horrible original songs(when used), horrible covers, abundance of covers, this makes for one of the longest and most horrible albums ever.

Well, maybe I should mention some good songs. Don't worry this won't take long. Of the original new songs on this, the only one of any merit is 'Silly Thing', which was sung by drummer Paul Cook. Well done good sir. Now as for covers, Johnny Rotten does at least one final song on this album, and it's in the form of 'Stepping Stone'. Johnny Rotten may be the smartest of any of us, as he refused to have anything to do with this album. Now as for Sid Vicious, while I may think him a joke and a loser, as well as a overused image of punk itself, he somehow coughed up(or perhaps shot up) two decent vocal takes in 'My Way'(for many the album's highlight) and 'C'mon Everybody'. Not bad.

I also realized reviewing this that it very much is a soundtrack, and many of the track listings somehow flow well into each other. Whether this was a accident of not, it deserve mention in a sheer stroke of brilliance.

But for the most part, this album is just a waste of time, unless you are really hardcore into the band. But for those looking for more, this is hardly a acceptable second album. It's barely a album, just a bunch of songs thrown together used to cash in on the Sex Pistols name. None of them deserved such a shitty album.

Overall, this album is neither good nor great. If the four songs had been released as a EP, maybe it would be better looked upon. But until the day where the world ends, this is one of the worst albums ever. Listen if you dare.

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Wait, Wait I'm not done yet.

After hearing this album, I went back to re-listen to their first album, and it really made realize how good a album it really was, considering all that could've gone on that album instead of the 12 perfect, original, rocking punk tracks. This album is really one of the greatest, and 3 years ago I gave this album a mere 4.5/5. Well, screw my cheap-sake rating, it deserves all the honors money can buy, and all the praise it deserves. So congrats to the Sex Pistols, the band who never cared what any of us said to begin with

Ratings

The Great Rock N Roll Swindle: 0.5/5

Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols: 5/5

Song Review: Give Me All Your Luvin'

This was suppose to be an album review of her entire album. Alas, I'm too poor to afford it at this time, so this is the alternative. This song was debuted at Madonnas Super bowl performance, which coincided with the release of the single. I had planned to this review weeks ago anyway so here it is at long last. And what did I think of it?

Well, it's not that bad of a song actually. It's poppy enough with a catchy hook. It's pretty much the typical pop song. I liked it. Then I listened to Madonna's greatest hits album Celebration(breaking tradition, as I try and avoid these types of albums). What strikes me most about this song is, well how normal it really is. If this had been from anyone else, I'd be forgiving, but this is MADONNA!

The women who made 80's pop 80's pop. The women who created Ray of Light. The women who has inspired more pop stars since the Beatles. The women who took a Abba hook and turned it into her biggest hook 25 years into her career! One would certainly expect better. And it's not like she's incapable of making good music still. The single off Celebration(oddly titled) 'Celebration' is actually far better then this, which again surprised me. This song doesn't.

As for the guests, it seems a bit strange Madonna picking guests when she hasn't really needed them in the past. And in most cases, they make the music worse(especially 4 Minutes, which for all I know convinced Justin Timberlake to change careers). But as far as they go, while I don't like Nicki Minaj, her verse doesn't do anything to persuade me otherwise. M.I.A. on the other hand, provides a more then acceptable verse, putting her own special touch on the song. M.I.A. may be one of the few unique pop stars out there that is actually unique. My congrats to her.

Overall, this song doesn't exactly have me rushing out to by the album, but given my track record with her, I'mstill willing to give the album a shot when the time(funds) comes. A slightly above average song.

Rating: 3.5/5

(Also, is it just me, or does it look like Madonnas trying hard to shit on the single cover? Maybe that's just me.)

Album Review: Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?

I admire any band who puts artistic credibility over record sales. Many bands have rarely balanced the two(pardon some exceptions), but if one band deserved to have both it's Metric. A band so caring for their fans and the quality of their music that they recorded their debut, decided it wasn't what they liked and re-recorded it again to be released. That second attempt, released as their debut in 2003. And let it be known that this is one of the best debut's by any indie pop Canadian band...that isn't Arcade Fire.

The first four tracks on the album, 'IOU', 'Hustle Rose', 'Succecxy', 'Combat Baby' are the backbone of the album, setting the groundwork of what the album is good at being, good at writing and making indie pop songs. The last 6 songs on the album, while not as exciting as the former four('Dead Disco' being the exception) and provide the band with leverage that would propel them to make even greater pop music. I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't already heard some of these songs, as they(Metric) have put their music in many movies and TV shows. Unlike many TV spin-offs or movie sequels, Metrics debut, like many great bands, is the blueprint for what they were able to create and master in the following years. This year their fifth album is to be released and you can bet it will be an excellent album following in the footsteps of their others.

Overall, like many great bands debut, Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? is a beautiful work of art by one of the most artful bands to come out of the 2000's...that isn't Arcade Fire.

Rating: 3.5/5

Movie Review: Sideways

I had heard lots of good things about this movie for many years now. I heard it was one of the funniest, one of the best comedies that has ever come out(seems to be one a year, wouldn't you say??). Well, with all that hype, I still tried to watch it with a open mind and hoped for the best. And having watched it, I have 4 questions for this movie:

1. I really want to go on a wine tasting adventure.
2. What kind of car was Miles driving?
3. How does Virgina Madsen look hot for being 43 in this?
4. What was it about 2004 and having all these midlife crisis movies?

In any case, this isn't a laugh out loud type of movie, like The Hangover but more like Lost in Translation, with subtle humor and some really upfront nudity. There really isn't much to be said about this movie, it's a movie that you can only talk about if you've seen it, much like Mad Men, Gossip Girl or The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This is a very intelligent movie, and very talkative when it comes to wine. By the end of it, you could probably sound like a expert just by quoting dialog from this movie(if it hadn't won the Oscar for Screenplay).

Overall, Sideways is as good as everyone says it is, just watch it and take from it for your own reasons. You'll find something in it you like.

Rating: 4.5/5

Movie Review: Buried

I. Hate. Ryan. Reynolds!!

This man is the bane of my existence. A too good looking actor who has had everything given to him, good looks, good movie roles, stardom, and hot girls to boot. This is a man who can look at Scarlett Johansson and say "Meh, divorce." So it's hard for me to feel sorry for him when he finally crashes, with last years bomb Green Lantern, a movie that I didn't even want to see from the trailer, never mind the bad reviews. So fuck Ryan Reynolds, the acting equivalent to Justin Bieber.

So Buried, a movie that came out the same time as 127 Hours and both have similar themes, with being trapped and all. The difference is the setting. This movie doesn't go anywhere but the inside of a box, and the only actor we get to deal with the entire time is(sigh) Ryan Reynolds. To see this man hurt, scarred, tortured, bloodied up and dying, it feels so good to watch. I found myself rooting for the bad terrorist man in this more then once. Also, the things he finds in this coffin are amazing: Blackberry, flashlight, water, lightsticks, lighter, like come on, why not give him a pillow and some pills while you're at it? Oh wait, they do give him anxiety pills halfway through. Some of the plot is a bit muddled and unclear, but luckily I don't have to sit through more then 98 minutes of Ryan Reynolds....well, he ruined this movie, so I'll do you know favor in telling you that he dies at the end, the one thing I wasn't expecting in this, an ending that kind of left me shocked...kind of. After remembering who died, I breathed easier.

Overall, you may like this movie far more then me. You may like Ryan Reynolds as well. In any case, that's your opinion. My opinion is that I only wish this movie were true and happened to him.

Rating: 2/5

Album Review: Combat Rock

I have wanted to do a Clash album for a long while now. It's hard when there are only 5 and a half Clash albums to review. The Clash were well known for giving you music worth your money, relevant in their last two releases London Calling and Sandanista!. Indeed, this was to be a double album as well before they decided to just do a single album release. And what a single album it is.

This is very much their Abbey Road for them, as this was the last album they all did as a foursome before they split: a solid album going back to basics and giving the fans what they wanted and saying farewell on a high note. Except it didn't start out that way. Between Mick Jones(the most unsung guitar hero ever) fighting and acting like a rock star and Topper Headon( the most unsung drummer ever) battling a raging heroin addiction, the worlds most important(and best) band was coming apart(probably good for the sake of U2). This was both their last albums before they were fired, but not before they both created two of the greatest Clash and rock songs ever, 'Rock the Casbah'(Topper) and 'Should I Stay or Should I Go'(Mick). The rest of the songs are great pop rock songs, with lyrics of the punk rock that made them famous. You may recognize more songs off this album them you realize.

But the crowning achievement of the album, and of the Clash is the 6th song: 'Straight to Hell'. This song, so unlike the band, is the song that the band members were most proud of. Take a listen to it, and tell me if you've heard it before. It proved to be the bands last classic song.

Overall, as a final album it proves that the band may have been greater then the Beatles. The Clash were able to get fans a following, respect, a reputation, great records, fame and a legacy unmatched by any band of the last 25 years. All in 5 years. Not even the Beatles could do it that quickly. And given what happened to the Beatles, maybe it's good it wasn't so quick. The Clash, I salute you.

Rating: 4.5/5

Movie Review: Chloe

This is a movie that I'd heard lots about long before I ever saw it. From what I heard, it was this huge porn flick where Amanda Seyfried goes nude for the whole movie in it. As enticing as that may sound, I still waited a further 2 years before getting around to it. Boy was I shocked.

Not only is Amanda Seyfried nude for quite a bit in this, she also forgets to act in this as well. I don't know where in my mind I ever thought her as a good actress, but it's quickly gone down the tubes. She's literally as dumb in this as she was in Mean Girls, and for all I know now, she might not have been acting there either. However, Liam Neeson and Jullianne Moore are both good in this, considering the tragedy that happened during shooting. Liam Nessons wife was killed halfway through shooting, and he finished all his scenes in this in 2 days before leaving. Even a actor who didn't give a crap about this still is far more interesting then friggin' Amanda Sigh-Freed. The movie itself isn't that intereting until the last half, after the lesbian makeout scene(well, what else can you call it?), where the plot actually gives some twists and works it way out into being a halfway decent movie. The ending is good, and leaves you with more then you sat through. If you can manage the first half, then you may find something in this film. I mean, besides the nudity, lesbianism and cheating the plot isn't too bad. The weak link is Chloe herself. If they'd gotten a great female actress, say Evan Rachel Wood or Jennifer Lawrence, maybe this would've been a great movie. Alas, not so.

Overall, this is a good movie that exists to be remade into a greater movie one of these days, if the right people do it. It is what it is.

Rating: 3/5

Yet Another Setback/Album Review: Roger Waters' The Wall: Live in Berlin

Well, so much for the all-clear. Just after getting over strep throat, I came down on Tuesday with influenza. I was struck with a high fever of 40 degrees and was stuck in the house with no appetite and no desire to do anything but sleep and rush to the bathroom for the rest of the week. It sucked. But finally, on Saturday, it seemed to have broken and I feeling much better now, though during that time I didn't listen to a single album. Believe me when I say that I had no strength to get up and grab a CD to put on. So that's why there was nothing all week, but I'm impossibly backed up now(with work, not well...ya know...shit), so I may not do some of the reviews that I'd hoped to do. But for now, here's a review that I was working on Monday night, planning to put up the Wednesday of last week. Sorry about that. Anyway here you go.

The Wall may be one of the greatest albums ever made. Live concerts of this album are near legendary. What many don't realize is that they sound(lease on CD) very poor. They really don't capture the excellence that the album perfectly did. But alas, you can't keep a good idea down, so in 1990, fresh off underrated solo albums, he flew to Berlin, where another longstanding legendary wall also had stood for many years, to perform his magnum opus, with a little help from his friends.

Now here I go, bashing guest stars again. Well, not really as some here are actually quite good, such as Van Morrison and Bryan Adams. That being said, the Scorpions do a awful opening number of 'In the Flesh?' that it kind of ruins the album from the get go. Cyndi Lauper's singing on 'Another Brick in the Wall Part 2' is, well not her best and a bit screechy for my taste.Also, what are the Band doing here? Shouldn't they be hanging in New York? Touring with Bob Dylan? Or staying broken up like bands should? Roger Water himself sings about half the songs, and sounds almost the same as he did on the album. Despite not having the best voice in Pink Floyd, he has become my favorite member, making smart concept albums with great musicians and bands. He's probably one of the most underrated and criticized composers of the 20th century. It's too bad.

The last song on the album, 'The Tied is Turning', is a rather thrilling and climatic ending to the concert, and seems to be a song that is for the moment, and not a song for the times, like the original ending to the album. It's not a bad song, just not something that I'd want to here at the end of The Wall, that's all. It's like The Beatles ending a album with 'We Are The World'. Neither good nor bad.

Overall, if a Pink Floyd tribute group tried to cover The Wall, this is what it would probably sound like. I hope that when I see Roger Waters live this summer, it sounds far better then this.

Rating: 3.5/5