The Beaver: Part 2 Reflection

Depression is something that many of us have had or are going through and many of us never talk about what happened to us, what may have caused it or how we got better. Today, in light of The Beaver, I'll be doing just this.
For about a year and a half, back in 2009, I was in my first serious relationship.I had not had anyone like her in my life at this point, being single for most of the time, having some, shall we say, nasty habits that I will not indulge into at this time that didn't make me feel like a great person. I was over the moon for this girl, doing everything that I could to make myself be a better person for this girl, doing the things she wanted to do, wearing the clothes that she wanted me to wear, eat places she wanted to, etc etc. I would do everything for her, and yet I would still screw up, and be in a constant fear of being up against the wall, unable to enjoy life going around me because of the cause and effect that was happening in my personal life.
Eventually, this strain and total bending over backwards for her took it's toll, causing us to have very frequent fight, all of this leading up towards a breakup in July of 2010.
We stopped talking for a bit, but we got back together in October, once gain I was over the moon for her. Let the reader not get the impression that I did not love her, as I did. No one can go through all the pain that I went through and not have any love for this women. This culminated in March with a second breakup, but we still continued to hang out until August, going through a almost weekly routine of fights and making up to each other, not a healthy way for anyone to live. We went back out again a third time in December of 2011, but if you can see the trend, the following few months had us fighting, making up and me literally getting sick over the whole thing and a final breakup at the end of March of this year. I haven't spoken to her since.
The depression aspect of this women in my life was that I gave her control about how I should live my life in a certain way, under a certain style and every other way was foolish and stupid...and I believed it. People are unique and like in The Beaver, should never put all their eggs in one basket when dealing with depression. It might be a temporary solution, but it won't cure you.
Now, at this point you may be wondering how I'm doing and if i'm over my depression from this women. The answer to this question is yes, but it didn't happen recently, it actually happened almost 2 years ago, right after the first breakup. Nothing was as tough as the first one, getting over the heartbreak that followed.
One day, me and my sister went to see my cousin, who was celebrating her 20th birthday. I hadn't seen her in almost a year and a half, and I always liked her, being the closest family member to my age(along with her sister who is only 11 months older then me). She was someone that I always looked to. Anyway, the way she greeted me, and the conversation that we had about music and what she had been doing in her life and vice versa somehow had a profoundly positive effect on me at that moment. It was the first positive experience I'd really had since the end of the relationship. The way her face lit up and the way that she hugged me when I gave her my little birthday present to her(it was 15$ to Chapters/Indigo Books), is a feeling that I haven't felt since that day, it was just a purely positive moment, one of happiness and love that I can still feel right now as I write this.
Now, I'm not saying that everything got better once this happened, but it was the first step towards a recovery that had many missteps and false leads, but one that looking back today, has gotten me up and away from the person not only from 2 years ago, but from the person that I was almost 4 years ago. Still, each day is another day, and there are many dark days that I've had, and will have later no doubt. Some things with me are different these days, such as I'm not as mean on my blog as I used to be, simply because I'm tired of thriving off negativity. It's not a good way to live life, and as you may be able to tell, it filters in some of my posts both good and bad(though still there are many things that I will always hate...I'm looking at you Radiohead). There are many memories that I look back to, but not that bad times, the good ones that you remember, cause in the end that is what you remember, the good stuff. No one wants to linger on the bad in their life, or it can lead you down the very path that I and many many people have gone down.
So for all depressed people out there reading this(and you have to be low to want to read this blog, jkin), if you think that this is the end, if there isn't a way out, if you can't do anything to make yourself feel good, seek help from someone who loves you, or go talk to a professional. I did eventually and it worked wonders to me. Go to a happy place that you went as a child, find a happy memory because they are all there, be it locked away or out in the open. Nothing is more important to me and should be to you, then feeling good about what you're doing. If it involves taking a couple weeks off your job, despite how unrealistic it may sound, you should really do it. It could mean all the world to you and save your life. I never tried to commit suicide(not saying I may not have thought about it, which I did at one point), but think how many depressed people think they have nothing to live for. If you think there is the slightest ray of light in your life, go towards it.
I'm sorry if this is a bit preachy, but take it from someone, you don't want to stay in the dark place forever. You can't live life like that, and nor should anyone else. That's about all I can say. I'm better now, but like I said, each day is a battle, somedays are sunny, others are cloudy(as weird as this may sound, my days can be effected by is it's sunny or cloudy/rainy nowadays, whether it will be a good day or not), but each day is a new day, one more down the road.
And to the cousin who helped me out all those years ago, I will forever be grateful for everything that you ever said and did for me. You made me happy, you made me want to live again, you helped me down the road to get to become the person that I am today. I cannot express more love and thanks for you because of this.
Thank you Sarah.

The Beaver Part One: Review

This is going to be a 2 part review due to the content of the film is something that hits a chord inside me. This will be the usual funny(if you call it that) review(if you call it that too) while the second part will be a little more, well personal/serious.
To be honest, I only wanted to see this movie because Jennifer Lawrence was in it, because ever since Hunger Games, I've become somewhat of a fanboy for her. When I saw the trailer for this, I, like many people laughed at the idea of this film and especially given that it had Mel Gibson in the starring role as a depressed husband who finds his ray of light in a beaver puppet. This is the movies weakest point, ironically. I think playing up this aspect of the film ruined it's chances of being taken seriously by anyone, when there is so much more to the film besides it. The main theme of the film is depression, how we deal with it and what it costs us in return. Almost everyone suffers here, be it Gibson, his wife(played by Jodie Starling, uhh I mean Foster), son (played by Anton Yelchin, who I am jealous of simply because he has gotten to make out with both Kat Dennings and Jennifer Lawrence, though not in the same film) and Jennifer Lawrence's character, who lost her spark when her brother died some time ago. The ways of dealing with the depression in this are different for each character, be it throwing people out, banging your head against the wall, sleeping the day away or simply ignoring the underlining factor. It may be a bit weak in some mines that everything is just cured at the end, and that how he ends up getting rid of his problems way bit a bit extreme, but for the most part, the movie handles itself quite well.
Overall, The Beaver may be just another movie for you. It may be a joke to even consider watching something like this. Well, believe me, I thought the same and I was wrong. Maybe you will be too. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Rating: 4.5/5